BEN's Blog

Dark Cloud

2011-05-24T07:48:00.000-07:00

I'm trapped within the maze of life,
I don't remember exactly how or when I got here,
But I have wandered and searched everywhere,
Finding a way out of this maze,
Every second in the maze was like minutes,
And every minute in the maze was like hours,
But I can't seem to find my way out,
And every step changes the course of this maze,
Will this never ending change cease?
Is this the end of the road, for me?

I'm starting to feel the cold breeze,
I'm feeling the trickles of rain,
The shivers it sends down my spines,
I know that I don't have much time,
And I know that must make a choice,
Between comfort or happiness.

The dark cloud watches, looks down upon me,
With a grin on his face, waiting for the chance that I might fall,
Falling down into oblivion, consumed by fear,hatred and loneliness,
Waiting for the moment, when I call for him,
To ensure that I lose myself forever and he,
Becomes the new host for the empty shell.

Times running out, and I know,
That I'm not strong enough,that I cannot do this alone,
I need my light, my other half,
I have to find it before I falter and turn into ash,
Before it consumes me, before I fade and lose myself,
I will need the strength, courage and confidence,
To stand, fight and hold as long as I can,
Until I find 'it' I will not give up.

Underestimated

2011-05-20T09:02:00.000-07:00

Have you ever, thought,every time you wake up,
That when you walk towards your class, anxiously waiting to see your friends,
Only just to be, a sideshow in the within the circle,
Have you ever felt, like you try too hard,
To get them to notice you, to get to know them better,

But one things for sure, that they're not interested in you,
Your life,
As you're not the main cast of the show, you are merely a background,

And I have too say, that I am trying my very best,
I tried to be there for you, tried to cheer you up,
But you always think that I'm not worth your time,
I always asked myself, asked myself what was wrong with me,
What can I do, just to be seen and heard, to be accepted
For once I want them just to believe in me,
As I know that I am being underestimated.

Have you ever felt, that no matter what you do,
No one never seem to care, nor bother to or talk to me,
They think that I'm not smart as them,I am too dumb too understand
Well guess what, its not just books thats part of my life,

Everything, every conversation,topic, nothings seems to have excluded books,
To me, life is not just about books, it is way than that.

And I have to say, if thats the way you see me,
Then I don't really want to waste my time,
I guess its time to think about myself,
I don't want to give a damn about you,
If thats what makes you happy,
Fine by me, I'll go my own way,
I'll live my life and take a breath,
My absence and my presence seems the same to you,
I've been underestimated, and I will show you all,
That I can live without you.

To me, music is my soul, it moves me in more ways than one and it was always there to soothe and calm me when I am down. Those who told me that taking music as a subject was a waste to time and money should get lost. What do they understand about music? Music is my life, as are books/art/computer/etc is life to you.

(P.S to all, whenever someone tells you that your dreams are just a waste of time and effort, just think about it, are you just going to sit there and agree that your dream/life ambition is worth giving up over just because someone said so? Well, no, not everyone gets their dream fulfilled just being given on a silver platter, some of us work to our very bones to pursue our dreams. We have to work hard and show them that they are wrong to underestimate our capabilities. But also, don't for forget to respect your friends who does not share your dreams, or you will change, from victim to one of them,the underestimator) :)

Sorrowful and Drenched Furor

2011-03-07T20:41:00.000-08:00

I feel like my heart, is racing with anger
The cool composure of my mind is gone,
Why do I feel, dazed and sad
The surge within me,
I feel like just breaking out.

But why do I feel the sorrow and pain
I shouldn't be having this feeling
But I cant help myself
What should I do to end, the fog.

The storm is arriving and the rain has fallen
Each raindrop feels safe and happy.
Drenched in the rain
But I feel that deep down my heart,
Feel the pain and my worries have been rendered asunder.

So please... my soothing,cold,wet rain
Please just wash all the pain away,
And just take to the rainbow when you leave

Let the light, shine on me
Let the colours of the rainbow
Let them guide me to the end.

Life's Newest Revolution

2011-03-07T06:50:00.000-08:00

It feels like an eternity since I have broke away
From my own shell
Where I was trapped in eternal, and endless cycle of a lunar eclipse

Since then, everything had changed
The sky looks so different from before,
It is calm,soothing, filled with a tiny shred of hope
Together with the warmth from the sun
I feel like I am home.

Though the seasons and weather has changed
Everything around me still feels the same..
But why then, do I feel
Deep within me, something has changed.
Though I carry past experiences with me,
I feel, braver, daring, much more stronger than before.

Deep inside me, I gained more courage,
To stand up for myself and fight for what I truly believed in.
I gained the strength,
To tell some of my 'friends' face to face,
That I am no longer afraid of them,
Their influence no longer hold, and bind me for life,
To mold me into their own clay

Now, the only strings controlling my future, is set by the choices that i make
No way I am going to sit in front of 'friends',ignored
And just smile like a fool, a fool for feeling alone and trapped.

I have move beyond that phase, and now,I shall say this kindly,
''I don't mean to be rude, but I feel neglected''

And if that doesn't work, then I will say
''If that is the case, then I don't need you in my life anymore, have a nice day, goodbye'' :)
Because in the end, the only thing that they have lost is a true friend.
And the only thing you have lost, is a puppeteer.

Life's Revolution

2010-12-20T21:00:00.000-08:00

Long time ago, every step that I take leads to pain
Every time I would drown in the sea of despair
Let the tide flow, let the currents just take me away

Far from the place where I had given my life, my soul
But I was cast aside by you
The loneliness and pain to my heart

I wished and wish all the pain will leave
Its memories are carved into me
The hatred and darkness were born into me
It grew and grew and consumed me

All my life I wish the darkness would leave
Just go,fade away, never come back to haunt me
But I have come to understand,
The darkness is a part of me

So now, the battle has just begun
Battle to seize control of myself
Though I had won for now, it won't end
But this time I know that I can use 'it'
And be my strength

Look Around you

2010-07-31T00:20:00.000-07:00

For all this time, I could see it in your eyes
The cherished moments, they are bound to be just memories
I see the love, I see the joy, pain, even sorrow
I feel it all, from others
Would it make me feel better

You have to know, that this is how life is
But you are not alone anymore
You may not know of us but we exist,
So light a fire within your soul

You think you walk alone and nobody understands you
You think that they are all the same
But you are wrong and I should know
Cos I'm just like you,
There are other like you,
So don't give up, just take a breath
Just look at things around you
You may just find something new,better.

Moving on

2010-07-28T01:17:00.000-07:00

Would it make it better
Would I just feel safe
The colours of the rainbow
I wonder where it ends

Will it make this easier
Will it make you smile
I just wish my destiny
The love I never had

You know,you tried
They were the past
You were the one
You were the future
You were the sky
When I just look above
Crimson horizon

Have I fallen so far
Have I seen it all again
The corner's of my eyes
I see everything that I shouldn't know
It hurt for a while
It feels just like old times
But its okay

Walking down the street
On a rainy day
The chill running down my spine
It felt so good
The touch of raindrops
It gives me strength to get up and try
Though I will fall, I will rise see and through the end

Everything feels the same
The loneliness the shadow of my past
Never will I escape
Impending of the darkest hour

I have to accept my fate and go along with my own path
I'll carry the darkness and I will survive

In the end I'll have to dig in deeper
And search myself
Find the love, the strength to carry on
For now I'll have to hold on until that one love saves me.

Hi

2010-07-26T23:58:00.000-07:00

Hi, i hope you guys will all listen to my new playist. I put all the best songs there is from my fav. artist Adam Lambert. For those who wants to listen to sentimental acoustics, i had 3 sumwhere in my playist. So, feel free to try them out.

:D

5th song: Entity of Dark Cloud

2010-07-26T23:23:00.000-07:00

There goes the brilliant sunshine
Here comes the dark and black sky
The full moon rising and it
Takes its throne the nightfall

There it sits and smiles at one who knows of it
Down below, the one gazes upon the sky

He feels the same as the moon
He feels the moon is his guide
The light that comes from it just
Seeps through the deperation

Each night, he sits alone and pray
He wished that someone could just save him
But he knows he'll never find the one who'll
Save him from this wretched curse and free him

He, looks up and just gives a faint smile,
Knows he can't escape his fate
He knows that its part of him
Wishing for the past to change
Wishing time could change for him.

Hi!

2010-06-15T01:04:00.000-07:00

I'm currently working on another song right now... Its 50% completed.. It should be ready and posted soon enough... Stay tuned! :D
Right after that, I would be working on another poem/poems. i'll let you know the theme of the poem/poems soon as well.. :D

Imagine love

2010-06-15T00:24:00.000-07:00

My wish, my dream,
I dreamed that you were here,
Just by my side, telling me you love me,
our hand entwined, it makes me feel so happy

But I know, it's just a vision,
The dreams are just illusions of my fantasy

And it's just love love love,
I can't imagine,can't believe it,
You are everything,
You are my air,you are my little sunshine,
So, please don't go,just stay with me,
imagine love.

I only see you, in a small place called home,
I watched you laugh, I watch you cry,
But i can't do anything,
It will never be, just you and me together

I can't seem to say goodbye,
And if i do I'll never know the truth

And it's just love love love,
I can't imagine,can't believe it,
You are everything,
You are my air,you are my little sunshine,
So, please don't go,just stay with me,
imagine love.

I wish i knew what you were thinking,
So that will leave my mind in peace

Its just love,love love
I can't believe it, i can't imagine
Every night I wish, that it was real and you were by my side,
So please give me signs, that gives me hope

My apologies

2010-06-12T06:30:00.000-07:00

I am terribly sorry that i have not been updating my blog as i had promised.. My blog will be up and running again... Don't worry, I will be posting my new compositions soon... I will revamp my blog again and add two songs played by me into my blog soon enough.. Im sure you're all familiar with one of them but the other is my 4th official piano composition entitled 'The Turning point'. Hope you like it. :D

I will be posting the whole lyrics/interpretation for imagine love soon enough.. Stayed tuned!! :D

Imagine Love- inspired by LCH again

2010-03-19T18:36:00.000-07:00

Hi,this is just the chorus of the song, the start and the bridge is still underway,hope enjoy this love song i've made from the bottom of my heart.I'll put up the song soon in this blog..Stay tuned.. :D

And it's just love love love,
I can't imagine,can't believe it,
You are everything,
You are my air,you are my little sunshine,
So, please don't go,just stay with me,
imagine love.

Lifestream-The Song

2010-03-19T18:19:00.000-07:00

Staring at lights, looking for something,
Eternal glory,which takes me away,
Looking for summer,the heat and the wind,
Takes me forward one step at a time,
And everything,just makes me feel,the warmness and beauty of

Wonders and wishes i see, staring at me, the eternity,
And the story and journey i 've been, sweeps me away,
The joy and the wonder.

Every time, everyday, take a breath and follow your own hearts desire,
Every wave,every tide,just sit back and go with the flow of life.

Standing on nowhere,an uncharted land,
The feelings so strange yet i feel like i'm home,
A new place to see, a new way of life,
Its time let go and live on,

Wonders and wishes i see, staring at me, the eternity,
And the story and journey i 've been, sweeps me away,
The joy and the wonder.

Every time, everyday, take a breath and follow your own hearts desire,
Every wave,every tide,just sit back and go with the flow of life.

Joy and the sorrow, the life that i've lived, giving me things to
Just see and explore,
The prime of my life, the feelings so strange cause now i feel this new place is my home

My confidence

2010-03-12T05:22:00.000-08:00

Walking down the streets,

You hear them say,

Things you don't want to hear,

Curiousity overpowers your senses,

As they are all about you,

Things you wished were wrong,

As every movement, every step you take,

All of these being thrown back at your face.

Can't you see you're hurting me?

Don't you know me at all?

How can I be judged when they don't even know me, my past,my present.

After all the foolish ponderings on how i should change the way I am,

I thought, ''Who are they to judge me? If they don't like something about me, then its their problem. I am not gonna change anything anymore''

How many times do i have to change just to please them?become a perfect replica,view of them?

None, that is, if they ever point out what they don't like about me, I would say this time, with full confidence and pride, ''This is who i am, a perfect human being who has his own flaws just like everyone else , if you don't like what you see about me, then it is your problem. Just accept that this is me and move on.

Petals of spring(4th composition)

2009-11-29T08:42:00.000-08:00

Its funny how I wake and just see you lying here,
It feels so real that I am really glad,
The shinning rays of sunlight gives the feel of your warmth,
The gentle feel just tingles me

(chorus)
Ohh, you really bring the best of me,
The petals of spring just makes my day so bright,
The very moment i take my greatest step,
Is to where you and I can be.

The wonders and the joy that you have brought out in me,
I cherish those moments in me,
The warmth of your smile isn't just an everyday thing,
I gives me the strength to move on

You, the wind of shelter and my safety,
You are that one thing that make me feel alive,
The joy you bring to me are just like petals of spring,
Beauty and tenderness

You that one thing that's special to me,
So, please don't go,
Cause you are a dream that i can't never wish for more,
My petals of spring.

Lifestream-3rd composition

2009-11-16T04:13:00.001-08:00

The gentle flow, the gentle stream
A new beginning, a new journey,
As a life is taken away, new ones will be created,
Following the stream of life

Everyday is a new beginning, new choices,new paths to take,
Every choice brings a change in the stream of life,
Every change gives a new and different future.

Some say it governs our life, others say we govern our lives,
While some say it is fate the make us who we are,
Others would say it is us who make us who we are

The soothing flow of the lifestream,
The calm and gentle waves,
Where all lives gather and move in harmony,
Where the order of life and death takes place

Some choose to accept their fate,
Some choose to free themselves,
The binding absolute law of nature

As long as the lifestream is not disturbed,
As long as the balance of all life is maintained,
Then can the stream of life flow gently and peacefully

Voice(Koe)

2009-11-14T09:30:00.000-08:00

This is my transcription for the song 'Koe' for Fatal Frame 3.Its a very meaningful song...Enjoy:D
Forgive me if its sucks.

Your sound your voice, its calling out to me,
Its telling me that that you're leaving me drowning,
Into the sea,pulling me from your voice,
I can't bear to lose the sound of hope.

The 'you' that i have ever treasured, the memories of you and me
The darkness sought to claim your soul, the only thing they couldn't take,
The memories of you, the link between our souls, the final piece of you

But I'm drowning in fear, I'm losing your voice,
I am sinking deep down under the sea of time,
I am starting to lose, the pieces of you,
They're fading, and fading and breaking the chains of my heart.

I'm trapped inside, a pool of emptiness,
I tried and tried, but i just seem to lose it,
Your voice and 'you' are beginning to fade,
Back where all hopes and dreams are lost

I can't just stand and watch you leave me,
Leave me drowning in myself,
I can't believe that 'you' have left me,
I thought that i have lost you once,
But I know that i'm wrong, and it's happening again, I'm losing you again

Disappear, disappear, I'm losing your voice,
To the place where all souls and all hopes reunite,
And the chains in my heart, their tearing apart,
It's rusting and breaking, the last bond with you and with me

And I'm drowning in fear, I'm losing your voice,
All the pieces of you with me are losing out,
Disappear, disappear to where all is found,
I'm losing the sound of your voice and the pieces of you

Why all this have to end,
The sound of your voice fading,
The very sound that tells me that you're living and just breathing,
It's getting weaker and faint,
Its getting softer, lighter,
I know you're telling me it's time to let the chains all come lose,
Your voice is fading from me,
The link between you and me,
The final piece of you~
Time's running out for me,
The final wave is coming,
But I just can't accept it,
And if I do I'll lose you, to the sea of hopes and dreams.

Finally I'm free

2009-11-14T09:25:00.000-08:00

So sry, its been a while since I have written any new post. Been busy with my finals as I am planning to fulfill my goal to become a researcher in biomed or perhaps a doctor. :D

Its been a hell of a week but i managed to pull it through. Overall I thought the exams were pretty much alright. Hope I do well... Hav to keep my fingers crossed. :D

Right, back to work then.... Now that i hav a lot of time to compose sum new stuff..

18 in 2 hours

2009-10-11T07:09:00.000-07:00

Lol,seems there is only two more hours till i'm 18. Then I can finally do whatever i wan,clubbing,drinking,driving,(fill in the blank). Nah, looks like i hav to become more mature now and start acting as an adult now. It feels strange though, i hav been 17 for 364 days now. today is the last day i'm 17. After that, its goodbye 17 and hello 18.:D

Hmm,i hav to start being more hardworking and do my best for finals. :D

Be myself(make up your own song wif the lyrics)

2009-10-01T08:26:00.000-07:00

Hiding in shadows, trying to find myself
I don't know what to do,
Stand in a forest and look around,
I'm lost in the deep dark cold woods

But I just can't stand there, I have to keep moving
To keep up with my life,
I and try and try to create myself to be there for everyone,
But they don't seem to care,
And now, I'm starting to understand there's nothing better than being just me.

This is my life, my story,
Who are you to tell me what I should be,
So, take off, and leave me alone,
This is my story,no one tells me who I am,
Just be myself

They tell me I'm not good enough,
Even though I did all I can to keep them pleased,
When I'm not around they start to pick on me,
What have I done to have this all coming to me,

So now in the end, I'll show them who I am,
Why should I care what they say,

This is my life, my story,
Who are you to tell me what I should be,
So, take off, and leave me alone,
This is my story,no one tells me who I am,
Just be myself

That's all I have to be,
It's just in front of me,
It was always there,I didn't know
I was blind,

This is my story, this is my life,
No one tells me what to do,
If they don't like me, it's their problem,
This is who I am, what I should be,
They can't tell me how I should me,
I'm just being me.

(Those of you who have read this, pls remember, don't go looking for yourself.Its never lost, its always right in front of you, hidden beneath the lies and fake personas' you have developed. Believe me, the only thing you should be is yourself no no others.Only then can you find true happiness, just as I found mine :D)

Changes(Final version)-Inspired by LCH

2009-09-25T09:31:00.000-07:00

All around me, I see changes everywhere,
But I don't know how, I don't know why,
There's nothing I can do to hold them back,

Even though,I try and try so hard,
But I know, there's one thing I have realized

(Chorus)
That everything changed, everything's different
Never thought I'd see it coming
Standing in rivers, holding the flow,
Never thought that this will be so hard,
But I know I have to move on, and go with the changes of my life.

The season changes, just like summer and winter
As leaves comes in autumn and goes in the fall,
There's nothing we can do to hold them back,

But I know,there's one thing we can do,
Just stand up, keep the rhythm going

Cause everything changed, everything's different
Never thought I'd see it coming
Standing in rivers, holding the flow,
Never thought that this will be so hard,
But I know I have to move on, and go with the changes of my life.

There are thing we have to know, there are things we have to try
There are things we have to do, to move on,
I know its hard to keep on moving, but if we don't then we can't break,
Break free and spread our wings.

Cause everything changed, everything's different
Never thought we'd see it coming
But together we stand,holding the flow
Together we can put an end to this
Lets put an end to all our sorrows and walk down the road that leads to dawn.

Life

2009-09-25T09:17:00.000-07:00

I always thought I walked the right path
Very sure of the course which I was destined to have
Full of hopes and dreams of how my life would be
However, these are just the thoughts of a shallow mind,
One who perceived and claimed that he knows enough about life and has seen enough.
I was wrong.

Months ago, I realized that deep beneath all the happiness and friendship,
Left a lie, an illusion which blinds even the wisest. Many have succumb to the illusions,
The past has has proven to be only but pain,
Ran away I have from this pain, the fear of the pain I have developed with time,
Wanting to change everything about myself, to become a better person.
But, soon I realize, how can one be a better person when one does not acknowledge his true form?

After months of painstaking effort, soon I realize, perhaps its time that I should stop running, and face the darkness I have been running from,
In order to seek the truth beneath the lies,
Now, I how found my answer, I will not lose myself to the past,
I will use my past as the ultimate weapon of hope and use if to face the present,
Running will get me nowhere, its time I faced my past and put an end to the lies I have been telling myself.
Now is the time to turn around, and become stronger than ever, to be able to pass down my knowledge to even the young ones
Now I know the most important things in my life, and I plan to live my life with them.

My first ever composition based on the transcription of Tsukiko Amano's song:Crimson Butterfly.

2009-08-17T23:36:00.000-07:00

*the song is the same, its just the lyrics are in English now, my own work. :D

Deep down the underground,I kept on digging through the dark soil,
To find a tunnel, that leads me to the right way out,
Deep down that underground, I'm stranded in the darkest passageway,
The cold and clamminess, I have to find my way

I should never had, I gave you all my trust,my heart, my soul,
Don't you know how I feel for you,my butterfly,
So go, I'll spread my tattered wings

Cause it's burning,
And it's scorching,
The scar on my heart that will not ever even heal,
And the pain I felt from this cursed wound,
It keeps on getting stronger and stronger till I die,
Ripping through the gap, in the red cloud,
You were my crimson butterfly.

Deep down the emptiness, I felt like I was back in my cocoon,
Waiting to spread my wings, and flutter from the emptiness,
I never felt so weak, as all my hope has left me for good,
I have to end this, and break this dark spell

I will have to free, myself from the cocoon,the night fall,
And when I do I'll look above and gaze the sky,
And see the beautiful moonlight

Cause I'm burning out,
I'm burning out,
I feel like a candle that is blazing out itself,
And my solid wax,starts to change its form,
My life is ticking every second,every breath I take,
When the time comes,I will turn to ash,
Goodbye my crimson butterfly

No more, the pain, I want it all to end,
I feel like just screaming, I'll scream all I want,
And throw my rage away, away from me,
While I can still call myself me,
I have to get up, and fight to free myself,

The darkness is coming,my time's running out,
I have to free myself,breaking free from my cocoon

Cause it's burning,
And its scorching,
The scar on my heart that will not ever even heal,
And the pain I felt from this cursed wound,
It keeps on getting stronger and stronger till I die

And I'm burning out,
I'm burning out,
I feel like a candle that is blazing out itself,
Then I'll know that I have broken free,
Cause I am that red butterfly.

Just a song i thought up two days ago, created the lyrics yesterday.I'm still not sure whatshould i name this song.

2009-08-17T23:26:00.000-07:00

All around me, I see changes everywhere,
But i don't know how, I don't know why,
There's nothing I can do to hold them back,
Even though, I try and try so hard,
But I know there's one thing I've to realize

*Chorus

Everything changed,
Everything's different,
Never thought I'd see it coming,
Standing in rivers,
Holding back the flow,
Never thought that this will be so hard,
I'll have to take one step to move on,
And go with the change of my life.

Holidays Finally!!

2009-08-14T05:15:00.000-07:00

I am having doubts whether I would actually pass this exam. This morning,I was waiting outside the room for a long time for the examiner to let me in. I was like'' what is he doing?Dun tell me he's forgotten about me.'' Luckily, he remembered and opened the door. I was rushed to the seat and was asked to squirt some hand sanitizer on my hands. Then, the moment I had finished scrubbing the liquid around my fingers, he told me to begin..''What? So fast? I haven even touched the piano yet.Why does the keys look narrower than usual?''

When I asked him whether i could feel the piano, he said go ahead, but deep down, it sounded to me like ''Hurry up,you're wasting my time''..lol. So i only tried the piano for only ten seconds. Then while i played my scales, i was nervous as my fingers were frozen stiff and the piano keys were narrower than my piano's. So i ended up occasionally playing the wrong notes and slipping . When reached to one of the sections,my mind became blank and after playing different keys for that particular section, he said '' I keep asking you to play dominant sevens but you keep playing diminished sevens. Do you know what are dominant sevens?'' In my mind i was thinking'' Oh S***! i'm so screwed!'' But in the end, i managed to get it write, finally.

After scales he immediately asked me to start my pieces. Before i started, i looked up at him and saw the word''FAIL'' on his face. Thankfully, i managed to play all the pieces till the end. Bad news was, I screwed up the major sections for my first and second pieces. Then he asked me to sight read sum piece for only 30 seconds.. Before i could even think of how should i play it, he asked me to begin the song. It was seriously the pits... I couldn't think of the rhythm while playing. Later, i had my aural test. Sight singing was the worse for me. The beats he gave me were so fast i could barely recall the tune for the keys i was supposed to be singing. And the best part was, i was still singing even after he had finished playing the song and he was staring at me like he was going to laugh.. I too laughed, not because of my singing, but at the thought of failing. Then for the final aural part, he played a song while i was supposed to interpret it. He played so fast that i was stunned as i didnt not know how to interpret a 10 second song at such speed!!.. (actually it was also because i was busy admiring his finger work, it was really fast and smooth until i realised that i was supposed to interpret it) Then he asked me, ''Describe the harmony for this piece''.. I stared at him blankly.''What IS a harmony?'' ''I had never practiced this with my teacher before..'' Then he said'' Ok, in music there's a melody and a harmony'' (Still blank).. Then he played an example for me.. (Jaw dropped still staring idly).. I simply mentioned about the repetition and the modulations of the notes... Then he asked me the period and possible composer..''What!? you played so fast you expect me to know what period is this?'' I was about to say''I think'', but luckily i stopped myself in time.. I wasn't supposed to say that..So I ended up saying' 20th century, Bartok''

After that he said goodbye and have a nice day.. Translation,'' I hope you enjoy your day later today.. I am sorry I have to be the one to break the news that u played and answered poorly today and now i need the time to decide whether i should fail or pass you'' SWt... :(

After that. my parents drove me to college and i immediately registered for my universities. It was truly a horrifying experience for me.. I swear i would practice even harder than ever..

Week of exhaustion

2009-08-12T20:33:00.000-07:00

Its been a very exhausting week for me. Everyday is just a simple routine. Wake, get dressed, attend college, come home, bath, sleep, wake up again, have dinner, practice piano. It may sound boring, but its the way i am accustomed to. Simple and content life, free from over-arousals and stress. I have been practicing for hours at the piano to prepare for my practical exam, which is tomorrow, 14th of August. I feel very tired... Tired of simple errors i make, mistakes after mistakes. Its really difficult to get the songs as how I want them to be, no matter how hard i practice. I have to get them perfect if I wish to pass my exam. This is the only chance i would ever get. If i fail, there won't be a next time... Its like my future in music depends on the exam. I will do my best for tomorrow and just hope that everything goes well...

The charity drive which was held yesterday was a success.. My class managed to obtain a profit of 850 dollars by selling statement T-shirts. I wanted to do the best i could for my class. I was shouting out loud to promote my class shirts. It was a really hot day that day, luckily Lenna made me take a break when i was running around under the hot sun try to promote the shirts for at least 2 hours as I had a headache after that. After the event, when i heard Aaron complaining about the money, which was supposed to be handed in to our respective mentor, I decided to take the responsibility and went to the orange room to see him.. Thankfully, he said we did not need to hand in the money so soon. He let us out early as he knew we were all very tired on that day.. Overall, it was an enjoyable day, but a very exhausting one, i truly enjoyed myself on that day. :D

Three Roads of Destiny

2009-08-05T09:16:00.000-07:00

Everything seems to fall out of place,
I had overlooked many things, I had miscalculated the course of future,
But no matter, I shall embrace the unknown,
The darkness that awaits the humans in every path chosen.

There, u will find the truth behind the lies, the lies behind the truth,
To find is to lose, and to lose is to find,
Sacrifices must be made when a path is chosen.

Let experience and lessons guide to to the everlasting light,the gate of destiny,
For me, I have yet to linger between the realms of darkness and light,
Twilight I call it, Neither here nor there,
I embrace the darkness, yet I yearn for light.

But know this my child, even in the brightest light, there is always darkness the lurks within it,
But also know that in the deepest depth of darkness,
know that you'll find a spark of light waiting to be called.

Accept that they are your teachers, masters, guides to the gates of destiny,
Let yourself not be consumed by eternal light, nor eternal darkness,
Even if you do succumb to these either of these masters,
Look for the other, he's always there waiting to be called,
Ready to face its opposite twin.

Dear child, know that you will need them both in order to face:
Gaia, Chaos, Nynx, Tartarus, and lastly, Chronos.

This is the path of twilight. The choice is yours my dear child,
Should u wish to chose the sun or a black hole,
Or as I had; the twilight road to dawn.

Interesting day

2009-08-03T06:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to 1U with my mum for lunch as well as to shop for some stuff..We had lunch as Delicious...I ordered seafood pasta while my mum ordered beef bacon pasta.. The food tasted as good as the name of the restaurant.. lol.. My mum actually went there to shop for some clothes, but I ended up shopping for clothes instead..lol..

Today on the other hand was fine... I'm very pleased with my bio marks... It was much better than I had expected... Physics was kinda dull as i did not bring my previous notes to school...Thus, I was unable to complete my essay.. Maths was quite challenging today... Matrix is a pretty tough chapter... Had to think a lot before I could answer... Chemistry was pretty hilarious today..Although I didnt even finish my homework, but i pretended i did by covering the top of my paper with my previous sheets.. :D

I was bushed when I came back from college... But i couldn't take a nap as I had Music class later in the afternoon.. Surprisingly, I managed to complete all my three songs...At least she wasn't that mad at me.... Then later, I took a nap and woke up for dinner..

After that, I went to my piano and stated working on my third composition entitled 'Petals of Spring'... Its almost complete... Needs a bit of touch up, but it would be finished by next week.. :D If i was given a chance.. I would most probably have chosen music as my career..but, being a scientist is not too bad either. My first two compositions are entitled 'The loose thread' and 'Enrikay'. :D

Changes

2009-07-31T21:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was one of the most exhausting day for me..Had a lot of work to do..And i became friends again with my old friend, Arthur... I wished i could have done something to help him. He seemed very down lately. Anyway, I just received my Mathematics results yesterday during the last period of the day... Its alright i guess, but I was hoping for a much higher result as i had made a lot of mistakes for that test...

Later Hui mien and I went to pyramid to watch Harry Potter.. I was grateful that Carmen was able to fetch us there, which was very nice of her... :D.We both bought tickets to watch the 5.40pm show...While waiting for the show to start, we both went to Asian Avenue and sat at the dessert corner.. There, we ordered Barley ginko and red bean soup, which tasted terrible and very watery.. After that, we just sat there and did our homework..

The movie was really disappointing as the plot of the story was terrible..At the end of the show, I seriously felt like killing the director.. The death of Dumbledore was not as tragic as the book had described.. Later, we both went to Dragon-I and ordered La Mian noodles and shared the custard yolk pau.. The food tasted great... Even the price was great..lol...

Overall, it was an enjoyable experience as we both had a great time... :D

Tiring day..

2009-07-30T07:00:00.001-07:00

Today was an interesting but a tiring day for me... Especially bio time, where my lecturer allowed everyone in the class to talk for a while after copying down the notes on the whiteboard. Not only that, she showed us interesting slides on the areas where plants grow such as desserts, grasslands, underwater, etc,etc..

Lunch was also quite different today.. I had lunch with my friend Charles, who brought a friend of his, whose name was Albert. We had lunch at the vegetarian shop near the Uncle Seng restaurant.. There were a lot of variety of food, stir-fried potatoes, some green vegetables, curry veges, fried rice and many more. Overall, having lunch with them was really different and fun. Albert was very friendly to me. Not only that, his English was very good.. It made me feel really sorry for my poor vocabulary English..

Later I had Moral exams on religion, my weakest topic in Moral... It went all right, but I felt pretty bad, cause i didnt think i did as well as i had last time.. I somehow felt like I had let my teacher down.... :(

Physics lesson was pretty hilarious today. My teacher Mr. Yap made very good jokes, which made everyone in the class laugh. However, the topic on radiation is pretty complex as the chapter progresses.

Violin lessons today was seriously a drag.. Not only I didnt manage to get my violin...We had to relearn the basic theories of Grade 1... And I just found out from Justin that I would only be getting my violin after two weeks!! Imagine waiting that long... Seriously, I think the lessons are quite a waste of time without a violin.. Oh, well, I just have to be positive about it and hopefully everything will work out.. :D

Tomorrow is gonna be challenge for me.. So many things to take care of... hopefully everything would go according as planned.. It better had..

Just finished the lyrics. its called 'Visions of You'

2009-07-28T09:26:00.000-07:00

I see your eyes, I see your soul in those miracle light,
You gave me strength,
When I see you, I would just follow wherever you go,
My heat and soul, You're everything to me,
I can't take it anymore, my feelings for you,
I'm such a fool, I can't decide

Visions of you,dancing with me
Round and round
Just you and me
Visions of you, do you see what I do
Dreaming of wishes, wishing of dreams,
Living, on visions of you, visions of you

Every night I keep dreaming of you,
You are my heart and my soul,
I feel like screaming, Calling your name,
Cause I just can't take it anymore

Everyday you are the key to the light in my heart,
So please don't go,
You're everything to me

Visions of you,dancing with me
Round and round
Just you and me
Visions of you, do you see what I do
Dreaming of wishes, wishing of dreams,
Living, on visions of you, visions of you,
My visions of you.

2009-07-28T08:36:00.000-07:00

Today was pretty smooth.. Had bio exam today.. Forgive my lack of modesty, but the test was easier than I expected, i was surprised as i wasn't able to recalled most of the facts which i had studied the previous night... I mostly had to used some common sense to answer some of the questions... Overall, I hope i did well :)

Class seems different as the weeks progress, everyone seems to have changed a lot... The groupings and the attitudes.. But, i'm not surprised...lol,, i've sort of expected it months ago.. Wish I could do something to change it...but everything i do seems inevitable... There is one in particular from my class who's really getting on my nerves...I have been patient enough to forgive her... Hopefully she would be better in the future...

I'm gonna get my new violin this Thursday and watch Harry Potter with my pet sister Hui Mien this Friday... Too bad I couldn't join my friends for badminton tomorrow... I have a lot of work to finish on that day and also I have to study for my Moral test which is held this Thursday.. Hope everything goes well for me.. :)

Hectic week....

2009-07-26T06:12:00.000-07:00

Sigh..its been a busy week. Had exams from Monday till Friday. Mon-Tue was Maths D.I. . My group member were great. Had a lot of teamwork.

Wednesday was hectic, had a physics exam, followed by a Maths exam. But surprisingly, it went pretty well... not to say the results would be good but, it was ok...

Thursday and Friday on the other hand was my ESL Text production where i chose 'The Man Who Laughs At Lions' by Bryce Walton as my topic.. It was alright, i managed to write 723 words with 2 points... I was worried for that moment that i would have written less than the minimum word count which was 600.. And while i was counting, i was more worried bout exceeding the word count, which was 800 words at first, but became 880, thanks to my teacher's courtesy.

Then later that Friday, i had dinner with my neighbours, which was great cause i had not met them for months.. And yesterday i spent my evening at their house... It was fun, but i wished i could hav spent more time with them..

Today is one of my worst days ever for the week. I hav to study for my Biology test which is on Tuesday, and the chapters which are coming from the theme Organisms are really long!!.. Guess i'll just do my best then... And pray a lot..LOL!!

Opening of my blog

2009-07-19T08:44:00.001-07:00

Hey.. Bryan here!!...Finally decided to hav a blog.. Whatever it is.. Enjoy!! :D