Dark Cloud

I'm trapped within the maze of life,
I don't remember exactly how or when I got here,
But I have wandered and searched everywhere,
Finding a way out of this maze,
Every second in the maze was like minutes,
And every minute in the maze was like hours,
But I can't seem to find my way out,
And every step changes the course of this maze,
Will this never ending change cease?
Is this the end of the road, for me?

I'm starting to feel the cold breeze,
I'm feeling the trickles of rain,
The shivers it sends down my spines,
I know that I don't have much time,
And I know that must make a choice,
Between comfort or happiness.

The dark cloud watches, looks down upon me,
With a grin on his face, waiting for the chance that I might fall,
Falling down into oblivion, consumed by fear,hatred and loneliness,
Waiting for the moment, when I call for him,
To ensure that I lose myself forever and he,
Becomes the new host for the empty shell.

Times running out, and I know,
That I'm not strong enough,that I cannot do this alone,
I need my light, my other half,
I have to find it before I falter and turn into ash,
Before it consumes me, before I fade and lose myself,
I will need the strength, courage and confidence,
To stand, fight and hold as long as I can,
Until I find 'it' I will not give up.

Underestimated

Have you ever, thought,every time you wake up,
That when you walk towards your class, anxiously waiting to see your friends,
Only just to be, a sideshow in the within the circle,
Have you ever felt, like you try too hard,
To get them to notice you, to get to know them better,

But one things for sure, that they're not interested in you,
Your life,
As you're not the main cast of the show, you are merely a background,


And I have too say, that I am trying my very best,
I tried to be there for you, tried to cheer you up,
But you always think that I'm not worth your time,
I always asked myself, asked myself what was wrong with me,
What can I do, just to be seen and heard, to be accepted
For once I want them just to believe in me,
As I know that I am being underestimated.

Have you ever felt, that no matter what you do,
No one never seem to care, nor bother to or talk to me,
They think that I'm not smart as them,I am too dumb too understand
Well guess what, its not just books thats part of my life,

Everything, every conversation,topic, nothings seems to have excluded books,
To me, life is not just about books, it is way than that.

And I have to say, if thats the way you see me,
Then I don't really want to waste my time,
I guess its time to think about myself,
I don't want to give a damn about you,
If thats what makes you happy,
Fine by me, I'll go my own way,
I'll live my life and take a breath,
My absence and my presence seems the same to you,
I've been underestimated, and I will show you all,
That I can live without you.

To me, music is my soul, it moves me in more ways than one and it was always there to soothe and calm me when I am down. Those who told me that taking music as a subject was a waste to time and money should get lost. What do they understand about music? Music is my life, as are books/art/computer/etc is life to you.


(P.S to all, whenever someone tells you that your dreams are just a waste of time and effort, just think about it, are you just going to sit there and agree that your dream/life ambition is worth giving up over just because someone said so? Well, no, not everyone gets their dream fulfilled just being given on a silver platter, some of us work to our very bones to pursue our dreams. We have to work hard and show them that they are wrong to underestimate our capabilities. But also, don't for forget to respect your friends who does not share your dreams, or you will change, from victim to one of them,the underestimator) :)

Sorrowful and Drenched Furor

I feel like my heart, is racing with anger
The cool composure of my mind is gone,
Why do I feel, dazed and sad
The surge within me,
I feel like just breaking out.

But why do I feel the sorrow and pain
I shouldn't be having this feeling
But I cant help myself
What should I do to end, the fog.

The storm is arriving and the rain has fallen
Each raindrop feels safe and happy.
Drenched in the rain
But I feel that deep down my heart,
Feel the pain and my worries have been rendered asunder.

So please... my soothing,cold,wet rain
Please just wash all the pain away,
And just take to the rainbow when you leave

Let the light, shine on me
Let the colours of the rainbow
Let them guide me to the end.

Life's Newest Revolution

It feels like an eternity since I have broke away
From my own shell
Where I was trapped in eternal, and endless cycle of a lunar eclipse

Since then, everything had changed
The sky looks so different from before,
It is calm,soothing, filled with a tiny shred of hope
Together with the warmth from the sun
I feel like I am home.

Though the seasons and weather has changed
Everything around me still feels the same..
But why then, do I feel
Deep within me, something has changed.
Though I carry past experiences with me,
I feel, braver, daring, much more stronger than before.

Deep inside me, I gained more courage,
To stand up for myself and fight for what I truly believed in.
I gained the strength,
To tell some of my 'friends' face to face,
That I am no longer afraid of them,
Their influence no longer hold, and bind me for life,
To mold me into their own clay

Now, the only strings controlling my future, is set by the choices that i make
No way I am going to sit in front of 'friends',ignored
And just smile like a fool, a fool for feeling alone and trapped.

I have move beyond that phase, and now,I shall say this kindly,
''I don't mean to be rude, but I feel neglected''

And if that doesn't work, then I will say
''If that is the case, then I don't need you in my life anymore, have a nice day, goodbye'' :)
Because in the end, the only thing that they have lost is a true friend.
And the only thing you have lost, is a puppeteer.

Life's Revolution

Long time ago, every step that I take leads to pain
Every time I would drown in the sea of despair
Let the tide flow, let the currents just take me away

Far from the place where I had given my life, my soul
But I was cast aside by you
The loneliness and pain to my heart


I wished and wish all the pain will leave
Its memories are carved into me
The hatred and darkness were born into me
It grew and grew and consumed me

All my life I wish the darkness would leave
Just go,fade away, never come back to haunt me
But I have come to understand,
The darkness is a part of me

So now, the battle has just begun
Battle to seize control of myself
Though I had won for now, it won't end
But this time I know that I can use 'it'
And be my strength

Look Around you

For all this time, I could see it in your eyes
The cherished moments, they are bound to be just memories
I see the love, I see the joy, pain, even sorrow
I feel it all, from others
Would it make me feel better

You have to know, that this is how life is
But you are not alone anymore
You may not know of us but we exist,
So light a fire within your soul

You think you walk alone and nobody understands you
You think that they are all the same
But you are wrong and I should know
Cos I'm just like you,
There are other like you,
So don't give up, just take a breath
Just look at things around you
You may just find something new,better.

Moving on

Would it make it better
Would I just feel safe
The colours of the rainbow
I wonder where it ends

Will it make this easier
Will it make you smile
I just wish my destiny
The love I never had

You know,you tried
They were the past
You were the one
You were the future
You were the sky
When I just look above
Crimson horizon

Have I fallen so far
Have I seen it all again
The corner's of my eyes
I see everything that I shouldn't know
It hurt for a while
It feels just like old times
But its okay

Walking down the street
On a rainy day
The chill running down my spine
It felt so good
The touch of raindrops
It gives me strength to get up and try
Though I will fall, I will rise see and through the end

Everything feels the same
The loneliness the shadow of my past
Never will I escape
Impending of the darkest hour

I have to accept my fate and go along with my own path
I'll carry the darkness and I will survive

In the end I'll have to dig in deeper
And search myself
Find the love, the strength to carry on
For now I'll have to hold on until that one love saves me.